


A night visit

by A_Weak_Raven_Child



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Depression, F/F, Fantasy, Female Fantasy, Freedom, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Love, Spirit World, Spirits, Spiritual Powers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:36:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29803029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Weak_Raven_Child/pseuds/A_Weak_Raven_Child
Summary: My name is Lena Luthor, and now I know that our destiny is marked. My eternal dream is real, my dream, which is within me, within her. Inside my Summer Sun. Her, Kara, my Kara, my dream.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter I

**Author's Note:**

> A history for centuries XD.
> 
> It took a long time to write and I hope to translate correctly.
> 
> A Weak Raven Child

Foreword

When darkness falls on earth, I just wait for her  
She, my flame onyx, my rising sun.  
My queen of the night, she owns the best symphony of thought and we feel, she, a fairy current from another world.  
Perhaps dear reader you have read similar stories, of beings of the night, of spirits and demons. And perhaps this story will be another of many. But she, my spirit, is this story, my life, my dream, my love. My Kara Zor El.

Chapter I

I kept under the covers, they weighed on my body, the air was warming little by little, the heat arrived, however I did not discover myself, I kept sweating. I thought I would pass out, the carbon monoxide would soon reach my brain and stop working like a car without gasoline, I would be stranded in the middle of a heartbeat or a breath, but no, it was always fear, the urge to run away, the desire to sleep.

They gave the 1 in the morning, 1:20, 1:21. I just hoped to sleep, I kept in a state of "stillness" that would allow my body to relax and fall unconscious, but I could not, this time it was not working, my head ached and I felt short of breath. Sometimes there is a state in which you are half asleep half awake where the brain deceives you sometimes, that state I thought I controlled, it could lead me to a semi-unconsciousness in which I took control over my body and could sleep, but never It was like that, when I believed that I would achieve it instantly, a thought that was too stupid and at the same time defined would pull me from my goal and I was returned to that reality from which I wanted to escape.

I have always been afraid of the dark, or rather, I have been afraid of things or beings that are in the dark, the vague forms or nocturnal sounds that disperse and wander in it terrify me until I lose sleep, the peace and sometimes tends to bring tears to my eyes. I know, I'm older, I'm old, but in my 20s I can't stop looking into the closet or under the bed before going to bed.

It struck 2 in the morning and he was still there, in a tortuous vigil. Luckily I have placed the little lights of the tree in my room, purple (I think they are neon), although I only abstained to an extension, I do not want a disco in my room. They dimly illuminated the corners of the room and gave me security, they are like stars that look at me with kindness and affection, although their light is cold.

Pondering I wondered who had admired the stars for the first time, not as a guide or night map, but as small traces of light in the sky, so far away and so close as to make us understand how alone we are and how small we are. But so beautiful as to influence poems and longing.

The lights in my room made me sigh, I wanted to wake up soon. 2:30, I could hear my heartbeat, I felt them throughout my body, in my legs, arms and abdomen, my blood pressure distributed them as if I were a postman. In that stillness my right hand went up to my throat and felt my veins, it continued its journey through my ear, it lost a moment and it emerged again where the hair meets the cheeks, it continued on the temple and entered the skull, it was cool.

At this point, when the silence became absolute my terror reached critical levels, gosh! it was hideous. Here there was no choice but to go to the headphones to isolate myself in my mind and in music, but it was not a solution either, since every time I could not sleep my head ached and the music (although I cannot live without it) it was heavy and painful for me. But there was no other, it was pain or terror.

In fact, that's how all my nights were from the age of 13, I could never sleep well from that age, nor did I know why, I sensed something because of my nyctophobia, but very clearly I did not have it. The headphones, the sleepy hangover mornings, the taciturn and tired days, it was exhausting.

That night happened like all the previous nights, at dawn everything returned to normal, the forms of monsters and ghosts were nothing more than clothes or misplaced books that I had left scattered in my great laziness.  
The flowers in my window opened before me like hearts in love, I could smell them without any dark regret touching my peace, but I knew that it was not eternal. I wish it were! At night those same roses would turn into carnivorous plants that lashed the glass to enter.

My life revolved around my studies and home, far from that there was little that I dedicated myself to. The university absorbed me like a leech and the little time that was left my parents ended up taking it. The truth is that I am not complaining either, my life is relatively simple, I have everything I need and I do not lack anything that is indispensable. Every day and naturally I do not lack anything, I am as Darwin says of the indigenous inhabitants "... so perfectly adapted to each other and to the physical conditions in which they live that none of them can be even better ...".

I have adapted to my living conditions, but Darwin did not predict my feelings and emotions as well as my interaction with the individuals around me. I may be assimilating situations but that does not indicate that they please me or provide me with inner well-being.

The truth is that in the days and nights of exhaustion, I feel that in this world there is no place for me, it is not self-pity, no. It is a sense of emotional detachment with what surrounds me, as if I belong to a distant place or to no specific place, perhaps beyond the sea or the stars.

Perhaps she came to me through time and space, to draw me to the distant skies, to the myriad stars, Ad Astra.

From the age of 17 I knew myself as a lesbian, from the age of 11 I was attracted to women. Men never aroused any feelings of sexual or sentimental attraction, I will not deny that there were a few whose attributes called my attention but only on a purely aesthetic level, they never “warmed” my heart, my ear, only very little in the middle of the legs.

Instead women, God! Those if they took me on a cosmic trip, their body, their way of being, their personality (Although sometimes it is not very different from that of men, it is enough to make a significant difference), their evolutionary function, it is true that without the man there is no reproduction but the woman is in charge of watching over the care of the offspring, in a few words she takes care to perpetuate the species, all that set of virtues drove me crazy (drives me crazy). The privilege of being a woman is great, for something Mother Gea is a woman.

I am a person who likes people of the same sex, there is no mistake or regret. It is not in my genes but it is as natural as each season of the year, like the cycle of life, I like women because my heart says so, it is not a learned behavior or something predestined by my ancestors, it is not an evolutionary change To please the man or to take care of nephews, I am like that because my soul decided it and my body agreed.

All this he thought of one of those many sleepless nights, where he waited for dawn. My tears came from what it took to know me this way. Never ever in my life would I be accepted by my parents or the rest of my family, my sister understood it but I knew that she was no longer comfortable with me for being like that. She didn't even know of a place where I could be myself without masks and theater, my friends wouldn't accept it either because of the reputation that preceded me.

I was raised in an orthodox evangelical Christian home, one of those who give themselves up for religion, who sacrifice their families, money and time regardless of the consequences. All the rules and norms known in the bible were carried in the house, not one was missing and, oh! of me if not fulfilled them. Do not drink alcohol, do not smoke, do not have sex before marriage (with a man), "remember that we are the temple and abode of the holy spirit." Do not have friendships that corrupt you, read the bible once a day, pray three times a day and after this is done do nothing else but meditate. Behave and bear witness. Actually there are still a lot of stupid things missing, but I'm not going to list them all. I do not want you to be bored dear reader.  
Being in my condition, I wondered why I had come out so different, so contrary to them.

Another night passed and I couldn't sleep well "how strange". At a time very close to the center of this story, I was in a crazy depression, my heart ached, my head, my chest, the suffering of my soul pierced me.

I needed someone by my side, I really did. Near me there were only porcelain figures, people as perfect as they were cold, without a hint of love in them and who according to they were in charge of showing God's love. Bullshit!

Every time I longed for the moment to meet her, that girl of my dreams and sleepless nights, of my poems and my crying, of my nocturnal touches and runs. I believe that in this world, even though we were the product of an evolution, there is something much higher than all of them. I am not an atheist but I am not religious either. I believe in Karma, in destiny. And she was my destiny, without knowing her, without knowing who she was, without knowing what she was like, she clouded my thoughts.

I knew that one day I would find her but in that instant I wished she were already there with me. She yearned for her, loved her without having her. There was no time when I didn't imagine her talking to me, loving me, kissing me, touching me, making love to me.

My idea of love is that it is immutable, love is eternal, it is infinite like the sand on the beach, like possible equations. And I will only give it to one, yes, in the sky there are many stars that shine with their own light, beautifully flare and burn but I am sure that none will shine like her.

When I reached orgasm in one of my nocturnal masturbations, at the climax my soul screamed, going crazy "Come my life, this is only yours, that my heart is only yours", I breathed heavily trying to drown my moans and not be heard all over the house. After my breath returned to its course, it ran wild again in a cry that I could not stop. He cried for love, he cried for desire, he cried for her, whom he had not yet found.

Rammstein told me through headphones Liebe ist für alle da, nicht für mich, and I thought he was right, even some of the dirtiest and most disgusting men in the world had a woman with them they deserve), they even had more than one, why couldn't I be with the girl I craved, sometimes Karma makes you wait too long.

The night before the event that would change my life, trying not to think or feel, trying to sleep I heard a sigh, it was an exhalation of emptiness. After taking off my headphones to try to sleep, I listened to it.

Light and thin, it was the breath of someone who was not there. The night had been strangely quiet, there were no scratches or strange movements, the plants in the window were still, everything was inexplicably quiet. I thought I was scared, I thought I was thinking of running away, of turning on the light but no, it was just a sigh, from whom? I did not know or imagine, the only thing I remember was feeling the feeling of company, that someone was there, someone I was not afraid of, that night I was not afraid.


	2. Chapter II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Weak Raven Child.

That day happened the same, classes, family. Same routine at night, same hearing aids, same pain. Now The Used was getting into my head keeping company with those depressing thoughts that I was struggling to keep away. Although it seemed, dear reader, that I was clinging to harmful thoughts and feelings, I really was not. I felt isolated, struggling to belong, to correspond to this plane of existence.

It was 5 minutes to 3 am, the worst hour of darkness. So much creppy pasta I read (I am a masochist, now I realize it) told me that this was the hour of the devil, of the spirit or whatever it was that scared or killed, as I wanted the clock to read from 2:59 to 4:00 a.m. I just jump, but that didn't happen.

3:33 came, my arms twitched, I always overlooked that minute, I didn't want it on the clock, I couldn't bear it, there the silence was absolute, the atmosphere was heavy.

Sweating under the covers, hearing aids drooping from discomfort, regretting being such a coward, I listened to him again. It was again a sigh, the exhalation of a familiar and calm breath, something that in the silence was music.

Despite being a pleasant sensation, my heart raced and then I had a mini heart attack, someone was with me, it was not like the night before, this time I could perceive a little beyond what my ears captured.

When a person is in the same place as you, in the same time-space, even if you do not see him, you know that he is there, it is his ki or his cosmos according to Saint Seiya.

In my room there was a person, an unknown being and I was afraid, but I was so cold and so sweaty that my senses collapsed. Her presence permeated the whole environment, permeated it. I was curious to see, I wanted to remove my covers from my head, but what I am, that fearful instinct would not let me.  
Little by little I felt it stir, it was like slow ripples in thick water, I know, but I can't explain it better, like the silent touch of fabrics, like caressing velvet. When I felt my bed sink, I was aware of the confusion that paralyzed me, I felt submerged and deeply overwhelmed.

Even now I do not know where I got the courage to remove the covers, however now that I think about it rather I think it was not courage but the reptilian brain at its best, I was ready to run.

Upon discovering my face, my eyes saw a woman, the silhouette of a white woman. A woman who was looking at me, who was scrutinizing me with eyes of indefinite color, she felt her gaze lacerate me, split me in two. With no other resource at my disposal that could save me, I closed my eyes tightly, hoping that everything was the product of a bad dinner or a too vivid dream, the kind that really scare, but when I opened them, she was still there, obstructing my path. flight.  
Among the shadows that surrounded everything, I saw her smile, the small flashing lights in my room allowed me to glimpse straight white teeth, slightly hidden behind thin but striking lips, red like crimson or blood. So far I had not realized that she was dressed in a common way, indie style (something I did not expect from a nocturnal spectrum) the contours of her body were slightly marked between the pants and the shirt and allowed to intuit a good figure, although at that moment it was the least that mattered to me, had it not been for the strange circumstances in which I found myself I would have taken her for an ordinary girl.

"From here I feel your fear," she spoke.

God! She spoke, she spoke! her voice was like the burden of a thousand times, like the autumn night, like the color violet, like the Mariana trenches, so deep that everything seemed silent just to be able to hear her, that everything stopped to see who said something, as if the night had spoken. She glided in waves full of harmony, like the pianisimo of Beethoven's ninth symphony.  
"They all feel it," she continued. I just saw her, debating between fainting or screaming but neither of them would pass, most likely it was that I would be a statue, I had not controlled my body for a long time.

-You do not get tired? You must be tired-she was speaking to me directly, my ears seemed to have been shaped just for that moment.  
-Well, you're still a girl ... You have the right.

"I ... I ... I ..." she couldn't articulate other words, my throat had gone dry. My voice sounded coarse and rough in contrast to hers.

"I'm not going to do anything bad to you ..." she said cocking her smile.

"I ... this ... what ... do you want?" - I could barely finish.

"Nothing, I just came to see you," she pointed with her left hand in my direction.

-S-See me?

-Yes.

She was silent and I was silent, it was surely a dream. Of those that you believe are reality, of those that when you wake up the world seems to have lost all sense, even if your dream had been crazy and was the least likely scenario. As I said of those that scare.  
She said see me? What did that mean, I mean, after observing me she would kill me, possess me (spiritually or in another way perhaps…), she would devour me, she would make me go through a wall to take me to her hell. What would she do with me? All horror movies wisely taught that no one visits you in the middle of the morning just to watch you, well ... maybe yes, but always with ulterior motives, everything in this damn world has an end and apparently mine was not far away.

Despite my growing confusion I decided to go down a path that my brain took as the most logical and sensible, to believe or think that it was nothing more than an illusion of my already crazy mind and I acted according to my perception.

-Who are you? -I managed to say after a few long minutes of silence in which she just watched me carefully, all I did was fix my eyes on a point above her head.

-Me? I'm nobody, at least in this world -she answered throwing her head back a little which made my eyes go down to her neck.

-How?

-As you hear ... who you want to think I am, I am. I have no problem - "this woman is definitely a psycho".

-No, no, no ... L-Let me ask better ... What are you? - I knew that here a clearer answer at least had to give me, it was my dream, all that was part of my subconscious, it was part of me, at least I would have to have some control.

-You're right, that question is better ... but I think you've already answered yourself ... you think I'm a dream, don't you? -Her smile returned and her eyes were fixed on mine, that she felt naked.

"This ... I don't know ..." she was afraid to keep talking and to read my mind like she had, I lowered my gaze. To all these I was already half upright, my back rested on the back of the bed.

-I don't want you to be afraid of me, I'm not going to hurt you. I am someone who came for you, because you called me and for other reasons ... but I can only tell you my name and it is a lot to ask - he spoke softly as he approached me, with all the touch in the world, his voice was came back deeply tender and cute. A lump was forming in my throat and chest - I'm Kara.

-Kara - I repeated in an imperceptible whisper.

-So is.

-Kára? Are you ... are you a Valkyrie? - I remembered the name, from the Poetic Edda.

He laughed, what a sound more, more ... Wow, I still can't describe it, maybe it's like the accumulated joy, the light joy or the happiness that you get after paying an extremely high price. At the time she was not aware of how lucky she was.

"Do you want me to be a Valkyrie? ... Although Kára was the reincarnation of Sigrún," he said, tilting his head.

I was silent, I didn't know her, I didn't know anything about her. Only I came like air and she landed on my bed. Because she asked those things. They were all born as they are, it is their nature. She must have a nature of her own.

-No ... - I answered slowly, meditating and measuring my words - I want you to be who you are ...

He bit her lips in an attitude of concentration, I could see my chest just above my heart, she had sat close to me and although we were less than 90 cm away, I could not perceive the heat of her although ... maybe if the force vital of her, her Élan.

-Mmmm ... you are particular ... I like you "she said extending a hand towards me" I'm Kara, that's my name, nice to meet you Lena.  
With suspicion I took her hand, it was burning cold, so soft and so strong at the same time, so beautiful and surprising was the touch of her that I did not notice that she knew my name without me having told her.

The situation will seem strange, but I only thought it was a dream, in a dream I can do whatever, know whatever, be whoever, talk to whoever I want without fear of anything.

...

Approximately ten seconds passed, ten eternal seconds, loaded with an unknown weight. When she let go of my hand my arm went limp, and she saw the hand with which she had shaken me.

"Wow ... yes, it's you, you're the one," she told me seriously.

Her eyes, now closer to me, gave off a strange glow that I could not see even with all my attention, her pupil had an imprecise color or colors. If I have to describe them they would be something like a watery green, with some shades of blue and maybe some very light gray. All that made me dizzy, plus the little lights in my room didn't help much.

-What are you going to do? - I asked for.

-Nothing! -she answered raising her hands as a signal- I already told you.

-What do you want of me? she-she was trying to have a normal conversation, but no matter how many phrases she said or sentences that she constructed, the situation could not be normal in any sense. If it was a dream, he wanted to lose it in the unconscious zone, for everything to turn black and he would not remember anything else. If it wasn't ... No! That couldn't even have been an option.

"Right now ..." she put a finger to her chin thinking "I want you to sleep."

-Sleep?

-Yes.

-Why do you want me to sleep?

Her eyes grew darker, she noticed annoyance in her gaze.  
-Why do people sleep? It will be to rest, right?

-Y-yes ...- she had intimidated me.

-You are not tired?

-Always ... I'm always tired.

"I know," she said, shaking her head affirmatively, "you never sleep."

-It's just that ... - I didn't want to explain anything, besides something in me told me that it wasn't necessary - I don't know if I can.

-Tonight if you can-she got up-come on get under her blanket.

I leaned back fully and she covered me delicately, she just let my head out of her. She adjusted my pillow and sat next to me.  
The feeling she had was strange, there was no longer fear (at least not so much), but there was a slight sorrow, she felt an atypical peace, a supernatural calm.

-Are you going to watch me? - I said under my breath.

-If you want me not to see you, I do not see you-she fixed her gaze on the other wall of the room, to the side opposite my bed.

I tried to cover my head with the blanket but she stopped me.

"No," she said firmly and lowered the blanket to my chest, "not tonight."

The only way out she had was to observe the ceiling, if she that night she was going to die she would prefer it to be while she slept, at least my murderer was considered. Maybe in my dream she would die in peace, it was a good sign, that was what she wanted the most. Little by little a light weight fell on my eyes, a lethargy in my muscles and a soft sensation behind my head. She was still there, doing nothing, "it's good that I won't suffer much."

In the distance, when everything was erased and disappeared, I heard her voice.

-Goodnight.

I fell into the most tenuous embrace, the lights went out and the doors closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It would be great if you let me know how the story seems to you
> 
> A Weak Raven Child.


	3. Chapter III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The visit continue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Weak Raven Child

My eyes had never perceived that thin line of light that was drawn through the window, the sun was clear and warm, not heavy and embracing, there were specks in the environment, specks of I don't know what, all cast in a sepia color. The next day I woke up like I had never done before, I felt fresh, renewed, with strength. I knew that outside the sky had tender reddish clouds without having come out, that the grass was green without having seen it, that there was pure air, an air that was worth breathing.

I sat on the bed and remembered everything from the previous night, I was surprised that that dream was easy to remember and not like the others that I simply forgot, I passed a hand over where she had been sitting. There were no shapes on the sheets, nor any indication that she had been there. Only my mind remembered her and vaguely her forms were confusing me.

I didn't want to think too much about it, I wanted that dream to stay with me forever and I decided to write it down. If I tried to decipher it or understand it, it would surely go away and I would never remember it again, so I immortalized it in my notebook.

That day was great, I didn't really do anything important but what I did I did with all my senses. I noticed that my classmates approached me, perhaps they did it before but I did not notice it, they spoke to me animatedly and I responded to them. I never sought to form friendships, I was sure that friendship was a pretext for the need for company, something to be close to people and not look strange, but even if I had not had friends, certain people sincerely liked me.  
The one who had been my classmate and workmate would come up to me and say nice things, "today you woke up in luxury", "you can tell you had a good night's sleep." A small smile from me was enough to answer, they knew I couldn't give more.

Things hardly change at home, even if I'm in a better mood. My parents as always talked about the same thing, I couldn't change them. They did not know, or did not want to realize that each of his words hurt me deeply. I tried to mentally distance myself, to isolate myself, but to whom do I owe it, who do I have to be proud of if not them (that was my thought at the time), until that moment I had not had someone who gave me the strength to continue, to assert myself , to do things that were worthwhile. He certainly didn't have someone else, he didn't have anyone else. I know that the things that are done have to have a point of self-satisfaction and the fulfillment of personal goals, not to please others, but my self at that time did not believe that.

At night as always, my parents came into my room to give their usual sermons, I could not bear them. Everything good was fading quickly, how can everything collapse so easily? That hurt, hurt like steel through flesh.

After the light was turned off and the extension of lights turned on, my mind began its journey, with all the bustle of the day, the night before had almost disappeared, what worried me most was trying to suppress everything, all the feelings, all the bad ones things to sleep on. About half an hour had passed and everything was silent, my habit would never change, buried under the covers I tried not to think and immerse myself.  
Strangely I fell asleep easily, although not for long, it was going to be twelve when I woke up suddenly, I had not dreamed anything and suddenly my eyes opened, well ... something like that had happened several times already.

That night was normal, or so I thought, I sat down, inspected my room, everything normal. I took my phone and my headphones, in my music library I looked for the last romantic song I had downloaded. They always saddened me and liked the lyrics of each of those ballads at the same time, the composer's object was always an impossible love or his beloved who waits for him at home, love was always the main theme, and I loved that.

When I had been listening to music for a long time and had relaxed enough to try to sleep, what I always hated came, going to the bathroom.

I tried not to drink too much water after eight at night and go to the bathroom before going to bed, but the bladder is the most inopportune organ in the body, I knew that, I was sure of that.

I resigned myself, it would be worse if I didn't go. I put the headphones and the phone on the bed. I got up gropingly and tried not to make noise, I didn't have a bathroom in my room so I had to cross the house to go to the main bathroom. I did what I had to do and went back to my room, closed the door.  
I looked for my things but they were not, I had placed them on my bed but they were not. I felt my heart cool down, down to my feet and up again, an almost instant cold sweat covered my hands and I felt a little dizzy.

Where could they be? I had left them on my bed! Totally in my sight! I jumped up on the mattress and rummaged through the covers, they weren't there. On my nightstand? They were not there. Under the bed? “They could have fallen”, I didn't even stop at that thought, nor would I look under the bed. My fear rose with the passing of the seconds, I spread my covers quickly, I lay down covering myself with them and when my head collided with the pillow, I was hit hard.  
Ouch! I scolded myself, the very fluffy pillows annoyed me and the one I was using at that time was not more than five cm thick, I put my hands under the thin cushion and there they were. My phone and headphones.

My body breathed again, it relaxed a bit even though I hadn't put them there. I did not stop to think about what had happened, I did not want to be more scared than I had already been and lose my mind on it. I just put my headphones on my ears and allowed The Scientist to fill my head.

After a few minutes I woke up again or I thought I had woken up (I didn't even realize it when I fell asleep), the same song kept playing, I was surprised, was the playlist turned all over? What time was it? It was a dream? The clock on the phone said 12:30.

I squeezed my eyes under the blanket, it was starting to get hot, I uncovered myself and I saw her.

My heart suddenly stopped and then ran for his life, I didn't even stop to look at anything, I tightly closed my eyes and waited.  
"It's a dream… it's a dream…" he repeated in a kind of mantra.

I put my hands to my eyelids, I didn't want to open my eyes. What if she was still there? Oh God!. I felt my bed sink close to me. Oh my! I was ready to cry, I was not afraid ... or maybe, I don't know, all I wanted was to cry.

My tears came from under my hands, my sobs were quiet, my breathing was mute, my crying was silent. Why I cried? I did not know, I did not want to find out, if I had been stronger, maybe I would have recognized at that moment as a coward, as the coward I was. I would have recognized that my fear was such that it exceeded my system of measurement, it was so much that I believed I did not feel it.

An indefinite time passed, it could have been hours or seconds, I could never calculate it, until I felt a slight rose in my right hand, I shuddered at the touch, it was cold and hot, burningly icy. I tried to shrink, to bring my limbs together as much as possible, I wanted to disappear, to become the size of an atom.  
"I'm sorry ..." he spoke, his voice was like the sky again, as deep as it was beautiful, I thought I had forgotten it, but at the first contact of the vibrations with my ears, something deep inside my brain lit up and began to scream.

-Sorry - he said again - forgive me for scaring you.  
I was a fearful ball, I just let out my heavy breathing.

He took mine with his two hands and lowered them, my wet eyes were still closed. With one hand he wiped the tears from my cheeks, I felt as if an ice was walking down my face. He brushed away the short hair that fell on my face.

-You can open your eyes, I'm not going to hurt you - his voice sounded compassionate, tender, he invited me to the cave of the beast, to the mouth of the wolf.

Little by little my eyes opened, burning with tears they looked at her. To this day I cannot describe in words how beautiful and at the same time dangerous her face, her physiognomy, her expression seemed to me. It denoted a pain that seemed to understand mine, a look that seemed to scrutinize my soul until it found what was hurting me, then I covered it with a sheet and at times it disappeared. Everything about her looked carefully designed and maybe it was. Her white skin, her golden hair, a bit long and wavy, her eyes of changing colors, her cold hands. All of it seemed out of a story of sword and witchcraft.

-You see? If I even did something bad to you, I would have already done it to you - he said with a small smile.

-And… and… if you are prolonging the evil? - I did not understand how I could speak if everything in me was tense, brittle and weak.

-Devils! Yes, you are difficult ... - he stopped, after a few seconds he continued - we are going to do something, you tell me what you need to believe me and I do.

She looked at me expectantly, at that moment I had to ask my lungs for permission to breathe and she was asking me for something, even if it was just a mental effort my body would faint, at any moment I would vanish.

-I don't know ... you can swear to me, if you want.ç

-That's all? - She asked me surprised, the truth is I had not even thought about it, I just said it to say it.

-Yes, for the most sacred thing you have ... like that ... that's how you get used to it.

-Ok - he straightened, I take a breath - look into my eyes - although it was difficult I did it - I swear to you by my mission in this world that I will never hurt you, do something wrong or hurt you in any way. I swear to you, Lena.

-It's fine…

I lowered my gaze, the fatigue was coming back to me, I was sighing loudly and my breathing hurt a little, I brought my hand to my chest and rubbed.  
-Because you smoke? - He asked so suddenly that I jumped.

-How?

-Because you smoke? - He said more slowly.

-I like to do it… it relaxes me.

-But it kills you.

-Well, I have to die of something, better if it's soon. 

He hit my leg hard enough to move me out of position, I looked up quickly with a frown.

-You know… this dream is bothering me - I said with bitterness in my voice.

-If you want to die, why don't you commit suicide and that's it.

-In case you haven't noticed, I'm not very brave.

-Well… it doesn't matter - he made a strange movement with his hand - let's change the subject.

-Yes, let's change the subject… How do you know that I smoke?

-I know many things about you, many...  
-That can be called an invasion of privacy, you know?

-And who are you going to accuse me? he asked sardonically. I was not amused by everything that was happening.

He crossed my bed and placed himself on the side facing the wall and leaned his back, I myself had pushed my bed to hit the wall and always slept facing the wall.

He was wearing black pants, he didn't know if it was jean, corduroy or cotton, he couldn't distinguish it because of the lack of light. He was wearing a white t-shirt upstairs, he had the most laid back style I've ever seen, like I said: indie.

-Sorry for a while ago, I didn't want you to be scared - he said looking at a nonspecific point - I just wanted to know that you were listening.  
Ah, with what had been her. Wait, that was before the dream… I couldn't, or… yes?… Maybe… well.

"I thought you already knew," I said, shooing my thoughts. 

-If I know you are listening, the more I wanted to know that you were listening at that precise moment.

"And according to you, what do I hear?" I answered synonymously.

-Hey, don't bother… Okay? - he snapped at me with a voice loaded with something that I can't explain - you like rock, ballads, classical, some pop ... I really miss the genre.

-It's not strange… it's just pop.

-Hmm interesting...

Interesting? What was interesting about my musical tastes, what was interesting about me that she came to me.

-Why do you care? Let me tell you that I am not special, nor pretty ... - I stopped - Although being my dream it is obvious that I am the center of attention - I murmured under my breath.

-Yes you're right. You are not special, pretty if you are… but hey, there are many better ones. The reasons why I am interested only know them and I want them to stay that way, are we?

She told me all this with an attitude that scared me, she was very serious and something in her had darkened. You could see his anger.  
-Ok, okay - I tried to keep things as they had been.

-Don't ask me any more stupid questions... 

I just kept quiet, I didn't know who she was and I was already arguing with her "how strange of me". We were silent for a few minutes, minutes in which I didn't stop playing with my fingers.

-Why did you cry a while ago? he asked calmly.

-I don't know ... I was scared ... excuse me.

-You don't have to apologize, you're a girl.

-I am not a girl - I said, I am not a child - I am 20 years old.

-Like I said, a girl. 

-Jummm ...

\- "Jummm" ... does it bother you right? - He smiled at me suddenly, making fun of me.

-Of course! I am a woman, not a child.

-Ya, now, it's not that bad ... Okay, you're a woman - she enjoyed bothering me - And tell me woman, when did you stop being a girl? 

-I don't remember my first period ... I think it was at 13 years old. 

-I was not talking about that - she laughed, that sound again, something natural, something that is part of her, it was as if she showed me her happiness - I am talking about when you felt like a woman for the first time.

-How? Explain yourself better.

-You know ... When you were aware of your role, of what men ... or women - here he made a gesture with his eyebrows - they make you feel, or when someone says something to you or does something that makes you feel different than you were. 

-Ah - the truth is that I had not meditated on it, I think I became a woman myself - Until now ... There has been no one who makes me feel especially that way, at least not with me. I've never had a girlfriend. I think I realized that I was a woman myself when I first observed one for what she was.

-To a woman? 

-Yes, to a woman ... I thought you would know  
-Of course I know it! I only ask.

-In my life I only had one boyfriend, Jack ... I don't even know why I hooked up with him, if I've always been attracted to women, the truth is that I have never, never been attracted to a man ...

Little by little our conversation took on more trivial overtones, we almost got to talking about the weather and politics. 

There was a moment when I did not realize the sleep that was slowly accumulating, or at least I dreamed that I was sleepy, yawning and squinting my eyes.  
-It's time for you to rest - he said moving from place on the bed and going to the edge - lie down. 

I wrapped the covers up to my chest, she made sure that I did not cover my head. 

-Tomorrow will be another day - she said slowly, she saw me while I was sitting on the edge of the bed, she had a hand close to my arm - do you have class? 

-No ... - my eyes closed on their own - tomorrow ... will you come to my ... dream? 

-I'll come.

His smile was the last thing I saw until everything turned dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Weak Raven Child


	4. Chapter IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Weak Raven Child

I woke up with a thought scratching my mind, it didn't go in but it was there, it looked like someone screaming in the vicinity of a wall. Although I was still sleepy and lazy from getting up, I felt fine. So much so that he found a crack in the barrier of my conscience "last night I had a strange dream." It wasn't kind of weird it was completely weird.

He remembered her, her changing eyes, some conversation we had, what a crazy dream. 

I looked at my sheets, my bed even up to the wall, there was no sign of his presence. But I was crazy, looking for signs of a dream. Ha!  
Immediately after getting up I wrote the dream, I did not want to forget it, there were already two nights that I dreamed of the same thing, some sign or omen would have to be. Despite having a naturalistic conscience, a superstitious streak ran in me.

That day the only special thing I did was go to the Gym, the rest I spent doing pending homework and listening to music. I wanted the night to come quickly, I wanted to test my mind, to know if I was not freaking out. I once read online that people who did not remember their dreams were prone to paranoid schizophrenia, I was happy to be able to remember my last two dreams, since no one else remembered, since I can remember I have not been able to remember a whole dream, nothing more What little scenes and that's a lot to ask for.

Night came slowly, the spring solstice was very late and it was 7 o'clock at night and there was still sunlight. I found myself thinking about how excited I was to go to sleep, when long ago it was the least I wanted, if all that was happening to me was a dream it would probably never repeat itself, but the uncertainty fueled my curiosity.

The pre-sleep habit continued, the sermons of my parents, the scolding, the feeling, well, I had to be used to it.

Exercising during the day had caused me some fatigue and my eyes were burning and heavy. I slept until two in the morning when a loud noise woke me up, I was pulled towards reality like the whiplash of a car crash, scared I sharpened my ear looking for the source of the sound.

Seconds passed and I couldn't hear anything else, I was sure that something had made a scandal, maybe it was upstairs or in the living room, I didn't know, but something had happened had happened. 

Several minutes of absolute silence had already passed, it weighed on my ears, I despaired. I decided not to continue listening so as not to get excited about it, I felt tired and I was really sleepy. It was not long before Sandman defeated me and handed me over to his kingdom when I heard him again, it made my blood run cold. Something made noise on the dining room table, there was a knock on the wood, a strong, continuous and heavy touch.

I wondered if my parents heard it, it really was a very clear and loud noise, but I wasn't going to get out of bed at all, to go to their room I had to go through the dining room. The noises continued and my heart was in cardiac arrest, it was horrible. I couldn't take it anymore and I decided to turn on the light in my room, every time my fear overcame any trick that I proposed the last resort was to turn on the main light bulb in my room.

When I sit on the bed to reach the switch my eyes see a figure in a corner, the corner closest to my bed.  
I felt as if it were an ice bath, a chilling sensation ran from my head to my feet. The figure moved.

Slowly she advanced in my direction, I could recognize her, it was her, my dream. 

He had a finger on his lips for silence, when he saw the route my hand was taking, he made a very slow shake of his head. Outside in the neighborhood the dogs began to howl pitifully, God! They ripped their throats. The noises in the dining room became more overwhelming.  
Kara climbed onto my bed and spoke into my ear in an almost imperceptible whisper.

-Lay down.

I obeyed him, the whole situation seemed too confusing to protest and I did not realize everything, the terror made me dependent. With my forehead facing the wall she stood behind me hugging me, she covered us both with the comforter from my bed.

Her cold touch never seemed safer or more reliable than at that moment, I was glad that this dream that she was part of was so vivid and real. His arms covered mine and at times he stroked my hair. The knocks in the dining room gradually disappeared, giving way to an insane stillness, it was a kind of prelude, I knew it.  
"Stay still," he said slowly in my ear.   
Either way I would not have been able to move, my limbs were imprisoned, imprisoned by a fear that I had never felt. 

The silence became even heavier, it was as if liquid darkness spilled into my room, like tar covering the walls, the spread of small lights dimmed, it became dimmer than it was, they seemed to run away from something, to snuggle up to love go out. 

For a short time in my mind only a number "3:33" appeared and maybe that could have been the time. The sounds returned, now my door was the one that suffered them.

I felt my throat go dry, my body tensed, a dizziness invaded me, I threw my head back, God! I never felt so much terror, not even in my loneliest and darkest nights. They were bumps and scratches, someone or something wanted to enter, you could perceive strong and heavy footsteps that seemed not to follow any order, it randomly stopped and continued again.

Kara came closer to me, I suppose she could feel me shaking, she put an arm under my head that worked as a pillow and with the same hand she covered my eyes, the other hand placed it on my free ear. I could feel her breathing on the back of my neck, all together it resembled a killer key that she made me.  
Even with her covering my ears I could hear the knocks on my door, which by this point got louder and didn't stop. My state was getting worse and worse, maybe my body was still but inside me the ride was frantic.

The cold that Kara gave off became soft and for seconds I thought I was in a bed of snow, it was a little refuge in the storm. My thoughts were clouded in a mixture of panic, terror, and anxiety. She was placed on top of me from the back maintaining the position of her hands, I felt her light weight fall on my body, her mouth made its way through my hair looking for contact with the skull. An electric current ran through my skin as a result of his touch, I began to feel his lips moving, not like a kiss but as if he were speaking, this caused the occasional tickle but I did not dare to move.

She kept talking to my head in strange murmurs as the thing on my door threatened to knock it down, I heard him grab the knob and tug on it. The little I could hear from Kara's whispers were unintelligible words, things I wouldn't recognize in a million years.

Suddenly, in the midst of all that scandal that seemed to be rather inside my head, a human and animal scream at the same time resounded with power, I could not define exactly where it came from because it seemed to come from everywhere, as if all things They would scream, everything living and everything inanimate howled with fury and terror, it was the mixture of everything horrible that I ever heard in my life. 

Kara pressed closer against me, seemed to want to merge with me, my heart accelerated even more than it already was (as if that were possible), my breath hitched and my body lost the battle. I did not know when I fainted, I only know that I stopped being a weight for me and I swallowed the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Weak Raven Child


	5. Chapter V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Weak Raven Child

I woke up in the middle of an outburst, my body seemed like a warm spring the moment I sat on the bed, I looked in all directions looking for I don't know what. Everything was normal and in good condition, although it seemed to me that everything had succumbed in a terrifying hecatomb. I noticed that my head was spinning and my stomach was not cooperating, the nausea was horrible, everything was shaking. I stuck my head over the edge of the bed and threw up, I didn't care if it fell on my shoes or whatever, I just let it all go.

After seconds of violent retching and spasms I managed to sit up again, holding back the urge to vomit the bile. My eyes focused again and I was surprised to see that Kara was lying next to me and watching me. My first reaction was to hit the wall grabbing the covers and pulling them to my chest. I got her out of the way when I vomited and I hadn't even realized it.

-Yes ... everything happened ... no ... no ... there is nothing to fear. 

I looked at her, she looked tired, exhausted, exhausted, not wheezing or anything like that, it was more like her body had been squeezed a lot, or beaten, although there were no physical signs. I relaxed, she was painfully helpless.

-What happened? - I asked in a whisper.

-Nothing you should worry about ... come on ... lie down - he spoke very calmly, trying to breathe slowly, his voice was hoarse, serious, as if he had run a marathon.   
-What do you have? - I felt bad for her. He took my right arm and pulled me, I resisted a little - what have you got?

He forced me to lie down and face each other. His eyes were glassy, his lids were twitching, the green or blue or maybe the gray of his pupil had dimmed. This close I could distinguish it better, it was beautiful. A princess's face, not so delicate but elegant, her blond and slightly thick eyebrows, her thin lips, her straight nose, she was truly beautiful. Seeing her like this, with that expression of overwhelm and weakness, made my heart feel small and something in my brain changed, it was not dangerous, or at least not at that moment.

-What do you have? - I insisted again - you look bad...

-I'll be fine ... I just have to ... rest

-Sure?

-Yes.

My mind went over everything that happened or everything that I believed happened, the overwhelming silence, the noises in the dining room and then at my door, the way Kara hugged me, her strange conversation with my head, the horrible scream (that memory made my body's hair stand on end). "What if something happened while I was unconscious?" "Something I don't remember" "Something that hurt Kara like that."

-What happened a while ago? - asked

-Another day ... rather, another night ... we talk about that, yes?

-Seriously? - I looked at her with mistrust, many things had left me in debt for tricks like that.

-Yes Yes. I promise.

He smiled at me, that act made my soul loosen, a smile through the pain, that single second could have been the inspiration for a good poem.  
I took her cold, shaking hands in mine, blew on them. I don't think she would have taken any of my heat but I did anyway, her wavy blonde hair came to her forehead covering her eyes, I gently pushed them away.

-I have to almost ... die for you to touch me - he said half laughing. 

-Were you going to die ?! - I asked alarmed.

He made a "I screwed up" gesture.

-No ... It's just a saying. I was just taking care of you.

-Mmmmm. 

-It already. Go to sleep that you study tomorrow.

I settled into the pillow, she did the same. I covered both of us with the blankets, the dream was conquering me. The normal thing in a situation like this is that everything I experienced would not let my eyes close, but the fact is that her presence gave me peace, that strange and supernatural peace. Something unmatched, something that I only found in her. In just those three days, or three nights, something in me was transformed, a switch was flipped, maybe she was the product of my crazy mind, maybe she was my imaginary friend or nothing more than a dream, but it felt very real and I wanted to keep her, my fear and fear of her was gradually transformed ... or very quickly actually, into something else, I think I was beginning to accept it.

I woke up to a severe pain in my cheek, it stinging and burning.

-Firewood! What does that mean? - My mom spoke angrily.

I wasn't fully conscious yet, I didn't know what he was talking about. 

-Leave your stupid face and answer! - He said pointing to the puddle of vomit that was on the floor.

Ah, that hadn't been part of the dream ... Maybe it was but it had materialized. 

-I felt bad last night ... - I said rubbing my cheek - I already clean it. 

-You'd better ... Isn't there a bathroom in this house? - He left my room slamming the door.

As soon as I set foot on the ground I had to sit down again, Wow, I was so dizzy. I hardly did what I had to do.

I got ready to go to college, duty above all, even if I barely wanted to speak. That day had woke up badly, in the mirror I could count four marks of my mother's fingers on my cheek, she kept complaining about my "bad behavior". The transport did not arrive on time, the boring university, well, the worst day in a long time.

While on campus I lay down on the grass, it was a favorite place for me, my personal place. As the university was mired in difficult situations due to budgets and salaries, there was no large student payroll and the university buildings were practically empty. I stretched out in a corner and sometimes fell asleep.

I took out my notebook and tried to capture what happened the night before, it was difficult and a bit tiring, in the light of day and with bright colors everything had a very distant perspective, I do not have to deny that the memories caused me a sudden chill but more than that what I felt was like a desire to assimilate everything, to digest it, just like when you see a horror movie and the next day you say "well ... it wasn't that good". Also my half-atheistic approach said that an event such as that was close to a disturbance of my nervous system rather than a possible supernatural event or spiritual manifestations.

I lit a cigarette and smoked, it was so relaxing, sometimes if they went three or four days without smoking it gave me a kind of withdrawal syndrome. I had been smoking for 7 of my 20 years, I would not quit so easily.

Until then, I hadn't considered the idea of thinking of Kara as a person but rather as an illusion, a dream, someone who was only real to me. But that day I spoke to myself in a way that I had never done before, I spoke with my soul about something that I never thought to speak about, about my own perceptions, about whether my madness was not as far-fetched as it seemed and also about my possible intentions for her, my dream.

Her features were already more familiar to me and it was not so difficult for me to imagine her, the three times I had seen her were enough to make me a mental image of her. She was no longer strange to me, she was not a stranger, she was someone who knew most of me (from what she had told me herself, although I think there was actually no side of me that she did not know) but she was the one that most I understood, I was the only one.

I meditated on it most of the day, on campus, in the classroom, at home. About the way he treats me, his cold skin and his changing eyes. I came to conclusions that I was unwilling to admit, partly because of their scientific improbability and partly because of my sanity. She couldn't be a vampire, she didn't have fangs, and she didn't smell of blood, how absurd right? What if I was a witch? I can dream of beautiful witches, right? A fairy from the Fae Kingdom? Could be, I liked those and had read a lot about them. A demon? No ... A spirit? Maybe a Valkyrie? An alien? That option was the most assimilable, but no, the aliens he knew were disgusting, with tentacles and drool, no.

Most likely, it was one of Sailor Moon's Sailor Senshi. Or maybe a comic book character that has mysteriously come to life.

At last night came, I hoped to fall asleep right away and be able to dream quickly. I was going to tell Kara everything I had thought about her, it was my dream, she probably already knew. I was very excited, so much so that I thought about taking my mother's sleeping pills but didn't dare.

I remember very well that I stayed up late watching TV so that a lot of desire to sleep accumulated, I had done my homework and a little physical exercise in order to get tired.

As soon as my head touched the pillow I fell exhausted, I have vague memories of that night, one or another night noise, the normal thing to be in a house surrounded by trees, everything quickly turned black, I waited patiently, but she did not arrive, she did not come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Weak Raven Child


	6. Chapter VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Comeback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Weak Raven Child

I woke up limp, lazy, bored and disappointed. I was sure that she had not come to my dream, I did not remember her, she was not in my memory of that night. I created false illusions and fell under the weight of them.

It was only a dream, how could I feel like that, dreams do not feel, they are not happy or sad, they do not suffer or die, they are only changed by others when the brain wishes, they are reminiscences of daily experiences, I never I had seen no one like Kara in real life, I couldn't remember someone who didn't exist, she was nowhere else besides my head. 

I gave a lot of importance to something ephemeral and fleeting, something created by me, inside me. How was I going to expect something from myself, when for a long time I wanted me to have the courage to face my fears, to calm me down, to get better, but I never did.

That day was Saturday, I left my house early and went to the quietest park I knew, there I lasted from morning until dusk, accompanied by my new pack of cigarettes.   
I saw how people walked with their dogs, how couples were holding hands, how families played in search of a ball, I envied all that. I thought once more of my love, of the girl I waited so long for, who I didn't know. I longed for her to be there with me, talking about anything until there was nothing left to say and we only had our eyes to communicate, that I could touch her hand, caress her cheek, I missed her without knowing who she missed.

I wanted a woman, I wanted a home to come to, children to raise, love and adore. I wished for a family even though I was only 20 years old.  
Time vanished like the smoke that my lungs expelled. I got up from the bench where I was, I walked around, it was six in the afternoon and I had not eaten all day, my stomach was roaring and hurting, my head was full of smoke and I felt dizzy, I decided to go home .

-Where have you been? - Asked my mom immediately after I open the door.

-I was in the park... 

-Since the morning? Don't tell me - he said in a mocking tone.

-If you want, don't believe me - I said as low as I could - you never do.

-What? - He approached me, I prepared myself for the blow - How rude you are! Don't you respect? - The wait was lengthening.

-What did I say? - I asked in a higher tone.

-And you continue ?! - He gave me a strong push hitting me against the wall.

-What do I follow from what ?! - I was not to lose my temper, I was always silent, but that day, that day I was ... I was really ready, I had a short fuse and my mother had lit it.

-Don't deny that you'll never believe me, at least Lex had the courage to leave - I gasped, full of anger, how long I had been keeping that for myself.

He slapped me tremendously. My father fixed his gaze on me by removing it from the newspaper he was reading.

\- You only add one more disappointment, we should be used to that by now Lilian - Lionel, who saw everything from his chair, never ever said or did anything in his life.

-Don't you dare name Lex, Luthor Corp. stands for him, you don't do anything. You're right Lionel, only punishments work on people with sin in their lives. - the “rod of iron”. The way in which children are punished in the bible.

My mom went to her room, I knew what was coming, I knew it very well. I got ready, one of my hands had already paid the consequences, the knuckle of my index finger on my right hand had been dislocated in one of his fights, when it was cold it hurt me and if it touched me I could feel the bone loose, to touch the piano was always torture, but I liked it so much that I endured it.

That I was old enough to be treated like this? Yes. What was the time for me to stop? Yes. That he did not have the necessary will? Yes. That he had nowhere to go? Yes. That it did not work, yes. That he had to continue living with them, yes. And as long as I was home, I had to do whatever they dictated because that house was not mine but theirs ... yes. They owned the entire Luthor fortune, I was no different from the house clerks.

My mother came out of the room, with a long, thin, cylindrical stick that whistled in the air. 

-This is to see if you learn - struck the first blow on my thighs, itching, burning and itching, the pain would come later.

-What am I going to learn ?! Ah !? - I snapped, if he was already hitting me, what difference did it make - To be like you ?!

He only accentuated his blows more, I felt my flesh and skin numb, my tears came out between anger and pain, even if I tried to contain them it hurt a lot.

-I am not going to serve a God who abandoned me! I am not going to learn from those who abandoned me ... who have feigned goodness, who do nothing ... I am not going to approach a God who seems to see so many bad things and does nothing ...

-Stop saying stupid things! - He whipped the back of my neck, on the back of my neck. I screamed.

-Where was he when that man touched me?! ... What did he do?! ... What did you do ?! - I think my mind was clouding, my words were different, others that I did not want to speak but that I could no longer stop, everything was blurred.

-Shut! Shut! Shut! - Giving her last blows my mother remarked her words, my legs gave way and I fell, I had not fainted but I was nowhere to do so.

I stayed still on the living room floor, I couldn't and didn't want to move. My tears soaked my cheeks, my neck burned, I did not feel my legs.

-Go to your room and don't go out! I don't want to see your face - said my mother, I heard so much anger in her voice, so much harshness, so much disappointment ...

I don't know how I got up but I did it, my legs were shaking and I had a strong urge to vomit but I didn't want to, what was I going to throw up? My intestines?

I got to my room and locked myself in, put the safety on, and threw myself on the bed. I cried so long, I was so tired, so tired of living, my mother was not my real mother, my real father acted as if I was not, Lex saw me from afar and I expected nothing but the affection that is supposed to be exist between brothers, but it never came, it never came.

I fell asleep, I remember wishing I never woke up again.

But I had to do it or my stomach was going to pop out, damn it! I hadn't felt so serious, so stupid, so stupid, so sore.

I got up little by little, outside the rain was falling, that calmed me enough to leave my room.

I ran my hands over my neck and I couldn't resist the touch, I ran them over my legs and buttocks, the clothes had stuck to the skin and when I tried to take them off I felt something wet. The pain that was asleep woke up causing me to spasms and curses. I tried to undress carefully, I saw myself in the mirror, my legs were stained with blood but the wounds were not deep. I took clothes, went to the bathroom and washed, I healed the wounds with alcohol, it burned like hell, I don't know how to describe it otherwise; he couldn't leave those bruises just like that, he had to or they might get infected.

I dressed in the lightest pajamas I had, I didn't even put on underwear. I went out to the living room and the dining room, stealthily and in total silence, that I would not have done two nights ago but at that moment I did not care if Satan himself was taking me in person.

Fortunately, there was milk and bread in the fridge, that was enough for me. I took some bread out of the bag and had a glass of milk and went back to my room.  
I put the safety back on and got ready to eat. My surprise was great when when I turned to go to bed my eyes found Kara sitting on the mattress.

-Hi Lena - he said waving to me, he was back to the wall.

I was silent for a few seconds, out of fear and understanding the situation. He didn't know or he hadn't felt everything he had done in those moments as a dream, had he? Maybe I didn't realize it. "Maybe the other would have to heal me again" "Hell! It had hurt a lot."

I was static for a few seconds but shortly after I decided to go over and place the food on the night table.

-Hello...

-How are you? - He said pointing to my legs.

-Well… I'm cured… although I may not… I think I'll have to do it tomorrow.

Her face went "What's wrong? Are you crazy?" She often touched the bed, signaling me to sit down. I did, I took a slice of bread and my glass, I didn't know that Kara was going to be there, but I would have brought her some too.

-You want? - Offering him the glass of milk - I can bring you some.

-Do not! How do you think ... you eat when you're hungry.

-Safe?

-Yes, I ate a while ago. 

He could be lying to me but I decided to let it go, I really didn't have the heart to argue. When I ate I literally felt my stomach expand, everything was delicious.  
-Lena ... excuse me for not coming last night.

-And why are you apologizing, you couldn't and that's it - I tried to pretend I didn't care. 

-I know you were waiting for me. 

-Why do that? 

-You wanted to see me, I know. 

-That that you know everything about me starts to bother me. 

-Hey ... I don't control it, okay? - He said staring at me. How did he not control it? What's that?

-How is it that you don't control it? 

She made a gesture of annoyance, she was the one who said it, I was just asking. 

-I don't know how to explain it, everything that happens to you is as if I felt it, deep inside me ... knowing even the smallest detail of the facts. 

-Ah, of course - he was surprised by my reaction, I didn't have to worry about anything, I already knew why that happened - you are my dream, obviously you know everything, you are part of me. 

-Oh! Believe what you want - she said exasperated, raising her hands.

I finished eating, I felt better. Kara looked at an inaccurate place in my room, she was dressed as always, black pants I don't know what material and a black shirt unlike the first one that was white. It seemed that he had made his clothes with shadows and darkness. At that moment something in my brain began to spin.

-Hey, don't bother - I said, she saw me - I didn't mean to make you angry. 

-Mmmmm ...

I nodded with a small smile. Suddenly he spoke in a tone of gentle reproach.

-Why did you start saying that little bit of things to your mom, you knew you were going to make it worse - he said looking at my legs. 

-As you know me well, you will know that I never say anything, I always keep quiet and lower my head, I just couldn't take it anymore. 

-Yes… hey, don't worry, it's not bad. But be more careful yes ... in these cases I cannot defend you.

He gave me a cute smile, I returned it. 

Despite the fact that everything seemed to be going normal between the two of them, something had remained in the air, there was something that he did not tell me, he did not want to say, I felt it in his body tension, in his worried expression. I may not be like her but I also know myself and I knew that was it.

-You can speak it ... 

-Safe? I don't want you to feel worse - he asked me.

-Yes Yes. 

He waited a few seconds. 

-Okay - he approached me and took my hand - I'm so sorry ... 

It was as if an invisible force hit me, as if they showed evidence that I committed murder. 

-That's already happened ... - I could barely speak, my chest tightened, what was wrong with me? I told him that I could talk about it, that I wouldn't feel bad.

-But you haven't forgotten.

-Me...

-It was not your fault

-Yes ... - something in me refused to go ahead with that conversation, even if I told him I could.

-No, you were little, a girl. 

-No god! What he was doing, he had never spoken to anyone. Not even with my parents, they found out because Lex told them. He had discovered it and told them, it was like spilling water on the ground, it disappeared in them, they did nothing - No, if it was my fault ...

-Do not. - He said bluntly - it was not.

"I didn't do anything to stop it!" You do not understand?! - my heart was on the gallows.

-What were you going to do?! It was "like I was part of the family", or so your father said, you were a girl.

-Don't call him that, he wasn't part of the family! - my tears came back again.

-Okay, don't listen to what you think, believe me. 

-W-How easy, right? - I saw her, maybe I would have accepted her, but at that moment I wanted her to be quiet.

-I don't know what else to tell you, just don't blame yourself, I know what you feel and I know you don't know what to do.

-No, I don't know what to do ... it happened so long ago ... and I still ... - I couldn't speak anymore.

-That kind of thing doesn't disappear so fast, it takes years ... 

-I know ... but I think it changed me ... it changed me a lot and for the worse, I can't go to university without being afraid ...

-Quiet, I know - he said giving me a squeeze in my right hand - your father and his "friend" studied there, stupid university, Ivy League.

-You know ... when I think that everything is in the past someone comes and lifts the sheet that covers it ... as if it were something I'm trying to hide. I feel like that made me horrible ... that I'm horrible.

I sank my head between my knees, my crying was worse than that of anger and body pain, it came from the depths, as if the space between my chest and back was incalculable, it was sad and suffered, my throat, my lungs, my chest, my whole chest ached. I didn't realize that the position I had taken was hurting my legs until the pain made me give a little cry.

Kara took me by the arms and lifted me up, cupped my face in her hands and made me see her.

-Yeah, that's fine now. You're hurting yourself.

-I am disgusting, right? - I tried to free myself from his hold, he wouldn't let me.

-What do you say! Of course not.

-I'm ... I'm a-shit.

-Shut! - He yelled at me, I saw his wet eyes.

-The truth ... is not self-pity, I do not want to feel sorry, but actually I am not worth anything. It seems that I do not belong to the Luthors. To nowhere. So far you are the only one who has seen me like this, please don't be mad. Forgive me.

He saw me with intensity, I felt that his eyes went so deep inside me that they could see my most shameful and most secret parts, that he could go through my story as if it were a book. 

-God! - He suddenly let go of me, squeezing his hands - I want to hug you tight, but you're like this - he pointed to my whole body.

-As well as? - I did not understand.

-Look at you, you look like someone who had fallen down a ravine. 

I don't know why but his comment amused me, I smiled. He frowned and narrowed his eyes.

-Don't worry - I said - nothing happens. 

-Of course! You pay for the mistakes of others, a person should pay nothing but his own.

-These are my mistakes ... if I had screamed, or ran, or if I had only spoken ...

-Hey - he approached me until he was shoulder to shoulder - if you did not speak it is because it is something embarrassing, it is something that does not depend on you. You didn't do anything wrong, understand.

I no longer wanted to continue talking, I felt tired of that topic, I talked too much about it with myself trying to forget, to overcome, but I had not been able to. I already wanted to stop.

-Ok - I said - okay, let's leave it up to here.

I tried to get comfortable on the mattress, his closeness made me a little nervous.

-Good, but I need to tell you something - he had already leaned back against the wall - although you don't remember much of that time, and it's fortunate, the Danvers protected you on more than one occasion.

-What? - No, that couldn't be ... they were houseworkers, Jeremiah was a laborer on my father's land and Eliza was the head cook of the mansion.

-Yes, they always wanted to do something for you, but your father's "friend" threatened them with death, but more than once they hid you from him.

-Seriously? - Now I remembered when Eliza sent me to look for things in Jeremiah's garden for no apparent reason, or when they took me with them and their daughter Alex to their field days. I smiled at the memory, they were very good people, every time Alex came to the mansion, he flirted with the younger girls, only eleven years old. One day they left and I didn't see them anymore, I still don't know why - They were good people.

-Yes. - He smiled - very good.

-Wow - I couldn't say anything else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Weak Raven Child.
> 
> Thanks for reading


	7. Chapter VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Weak Raven Child

We were silent for an indefinite time, she looked at me from time to time and I looked at her, what in my brain had begun to spin stopped, ahhhhh! 

Shit! I know where I had seen it, but no. It couldn't be her.

I hadn't noticed that he was looking at her with intensity now, it couldn't be her. 

-Because you see me that way? - I wonder.

-No ... no ... you're not her.

-I am not who? - He asked me with a dangerous gesture.

-Nuala, or ... maybe ... you are ... a star?

-What?

-You know, Nuala, you invoked the Lord of dreams to save him and to love him. And if you are a star ... that fell from the sky, like Stardust.

She saw me surprised, if it was her ... Wow! He had thought it was just a Neil Gaiman creation.

-Are you talking about Sandman? 

I just nodded. 

-Ha! What imagination you have ... I'm not her, although I would like to be, she is very pretty ... and tender. And no, I am not a star.

-You look a lot like a ...

-Yes ... now that I know you I know.

Maybe something in me was disappointed, if she was Nuala maybe she would not be far from the Faire kingdom and maybe, by chance of the cosmos, she could escape there. And if it was a star Wow, maybe we could go to his kingdom. But if it wasn't her, then who? I still couldn't define it clearly and that drove me crazy.  
-And what are you? Well, I don't doubt that you are a dream ... (Although strange things have happened) ... But what are you in my dream?

-If you think I am a dream, there is nothing else to explain - he said indifferently. 

-Yesterday I was thinking about the possible options of what you could be ... But they all worked and at the same time not ... You are not someone or something that I have seen or read - I said softly. 

-I'm not someone you've seen or something you've read about. I'm not something you know - she told me a little taciturn.  
I approached, we were face to face. 

"Tell me what you are then," I begged.

"I don't even know myself, darling." She touched my cheek.

-It won't be that you don't want to tell me ... 

She sat up a bit, I had to step back so as not to fall on her. 

-Let's see what you know about me, tell me. 

-You are rare - I listed as if I were reciting the elements of the periodic table - you dress like anyone, you are very pretty ... - I said a little lower - apparently you know absolutely everything about me, you can take care of me from strange things ... - I stopped and looked at her.

-Then we talk about it, go on. 

-Your eyes seem to change color, your hands are always strangely cold, I never know when you arrive or when you leave ... - I stopped again - Well, I can continue until here. 

-Hey ... - my eyes were caught by his - There are things in me that I can not control, there are things I know how to do and there are things I wonder about.  
She was speaking to me directly. I always knew when they lied to me, it is something involuntary more than a superpower, it is intuition. She was telling me the truth, but it was a half truth, something was missing, something she didn't tell me.

-I don't know ... Can you tell me a little more? 

-What do you want me to say? - She looked at me tired.

-There is something you know and you don't want to tell me ... - Maybe she knew me very well, but something in me also knew her, I was not aware at that moment and it was only a meager feeling, but a small part of me, a very small one looked like a graft of her on me. 

-Yes, you're right - he looked away - but leave that little secret to me.

He was silent and so was I.

In the meantime, the hours flew by, I was still in front of her and she no longer looked at me, I didn't want her to leave (I don't know how) feeling bad, it was four in the morning, there is a saying that says "at four o'clock you don't know if it's too late or too early, "she had no idea what to think, but she knew it was too late for her.   
-Are you going to go? - I asked seeing the time on my mobile.

-Yes, it's getting late ... Or later.

-Sorry if I made you feel bad - I had already gotten under the duvet, she was sitting on the edge of the bed. 

-You do not need to apologize. Me...

\- Are you coming tomorrow? - I didn't let her finish, I wasn't going to force her, after all I didn't want to take her away from me.

-I think so... 

-You have to, remember that we have a pending conversation. 

He looked at me, how good his eyes felt on me. She just caressed my forehead, it was as cold as it was warm, the cold can burn but hers was like sub-zero fire, it's something that I can never describe exactly.

-Get better do you want ... do not do any more nonsense - I took his hand - sleep

He looked across my room, his profile was perfect. My hand continued to take his to the side of my body, as if his words were a spell (maybe they were) my eyelids became heavy and in my brain they took a break, the last thing I saw was his lanky figure rise from the mattress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Weak Raven Child <3


	8. Chapter VIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Weak Raven Child

It was Sunday, damn it! It was Sunday, how he hated Sundays. I didn't want to argue with my mother or father so I got dressed, combed my hair, grabbed my bag and put in a bible that would only be on days like that.

It had been several days since my mother had hit me, and the wounds were pink, they no longer hurt so much, Kara kept visiting me at night, recurrently, like a prophetic dream.

When I arrived at the church, people who used to call my attention because of their charisma and affection, greeted me as always, shaking hands, some hugged me, I did not want to seem rude or anything, I also returned their greetings but now I knew they were masks, their masks.

There was a time when I refused to accept myself for what I was, I didn't want to be a lesbian, or at least I didn't want to think I was, so I spent my days in church, worked there, fraternized with members of the congregation. , anyway. But little by little I realized many things, the church can seem very beautiful and perfect, and it is, only when you start to be assiduous they end up accepting you more, you are no longer as special as you were at the beginning, do not you They hug like at the beginning, they don't look for you like at the beginning. She believed that she could not be happier in another place, that she was loved and loved there, but no, no.

My feelings for women came back stronger and I lost myself completely, it is not that I liked one and the other, on the contrary I had never had a girlfriend, what happened is that I did not see women as it should be supposed, I saw them how a woman is supposed to see a man. 

I was so afraid of myself that I decided to talk to the father, I wanted to expose my situation and feel that they understood me, but that never happened. They don't understand, they don't.

I walked away, I felt that everything that was inside me came from the bones, from the soul and even beyond, that it would never go away, I had several days of delirium tremens, I did not know what was happening to me, I was lost in my own mind , the depression came over me like a tsunami, after that period of time (it was almost a month) I came out as reborn, it was the same but accepted, it was the same insecure and introverted girl, but this girl now liked women In fact, they always liked them better at that time, I assimilated it with freedom.

In church I listened to the songs, I stood up, I sat down, I opened the bible, I read a passage of something that I did not recognize, I listened to the pastor, I felt miserable. "The sin of the 21st century is homosexuality, young people rot in the middle of this filth, it is disgusting how two men or two women even go out into the street holding hands." My heart grew smaller with every word, which is why I hated Sundays.

On days like those I felt lonely, I knew that my father would never take me down the aisle, that my mother would never congratulate me, that we would never go to the store to buy my wedding dress, that we would never plan my wedding together, that an uncle would never I would get drunk at the reception saying nonsense, that I would not waltz with a family member. I knew that the only thing I would have in this world would be my girl, my wife. 

The service ended and we went home.

The rest of the day was very monotonous and I did not realize it until 9 at night, I was trying to get some differential equations that left me with a headache and when I finished it looked like Brainiac. 

As I bathed and soaped my body I realized that I did not remember the last time he had touched me, not that I was addicted or anything, but from time to time I liked to give myself that pleasure. 

Being in that situation more than conducive, my fingers looked for my mound of Venus and I caressed it, the water fell on my body and steam accumulated around it. After a few minutes in that action I felt moisture in my lower part, my head had warmed up and my breathing was stronger than normal, I did not take long to caress my clitoris and moan slightly, it was burning.

How I wanted a woman to come from behind and touch me, kiss me, make me scream, love me as only a woman knows how to love, with passion and desire, madness and a shared pleasure that there is no moment when the one is annulled to the other. 

My culmination was extremely pleasant, not only physically but mentally as well, sometimes the climax makes every part of your being relax.

Before going to sleep I stood in front of the full-length mirror, completely naked I detailed my attributes, which were not many. I had good legs and a decent abdomen, I always liked exercise and sports, I was in good shape thanks to dancing since my metabolism almost never allowed me to gain weight.

My hair then damp from the black bath and long, sometimes straight, sometimes with waves, my appearance matched my style of dress, with my clothes and accessories, tight pants, sometimes suit (usually for formal events), shirts and Tight flannels, my wardrobe was not fancy but comfortable. 

My face had its charms, my green eyes stood out and that was my greatest attraction, I always liked my slightly thick eyebrows and my natural pink lips (I never needed lipstick).

I got tired of standing there, I put on some panties and got under the sheets, it was a hot night. I did not hesitate to be naked, after all nobody entered my room at night, if it was a spirit it was worth it if I saw myself like that and as for dreams ... In dreams you are always dressed , do not?

I think I slept for two or three hours, it was 1 in the morning when I woke up, my cell phone vibrated under my pillow, a message saying "your rent is about to expire ... recharge soon" what a bummer! He didn't even use it that much.

I felt cold and realized that I was very uncovered, my sheets were on my feet, I quickly looked for them and threw them on me. 

-Yes, it's better. I think we should fellowship a little more - someone said from the darkest corner of my room.

I focused my eyes, that voice already knew her. Kara stepped closer to the violet light from the little light bulbs that lit up my room. She was dressed as always, she was the spitting image of a star that had just descended from the sky.

His comment made me blush to the roots of my hair, or so I thought, I felt myself burn completely.

-I'm sorry… I thought… I was going to be wearing clothes.

I laugh a little. 

-I'm going to get dressed - I said wrapping myself in a sheet and standing up. 

-It's hot ... Just put on a shirt.

She had already sat on my bed with her back to the wall, that confidence did not bother me, partly because I expected her to act that way with me and because someone with her style did that kind of thing (or so I thought). I did what she said, just the shirt.

-Why were you naked? - He said mischievously - were you expecting me?

-No way! - I don't know why but what he said made my heart race - I was hot .... How long have you been seeing me?

"Enough," he said, taking out a cereal bar from I don't know where. 

-Enough for what? 

-To see that you have a very nice body - he replied shrugging his shoulders and taking a big bite from the bar. 

-Mhm

I sat next to her. Although I had only a few clothes, the night was warm and I felt it on my skin, it was hot.

-Why is it so hot tonight? - asked.

-I don't know ... Maybe hell is near - he said looking at me in a strange and mocking way. I wish I was kidding.

-It's not funny ... you can't play with those things.

-It's strange - he commented - that you, being a woman of science and skeptical thinking, think that these are not games things.

-It's just ... I kept quiet. It is that I did not even know why there was this need to believe that there was something more than metabolic respiration and entropy, something deep inside me was burning with curiosity and longing - I do not know, I really do not know why I have to believe at the same time do not.

-Humans are like that, or at least those who have not forgotten their role in the cycle of life, their curiosity exceeds many limits. 

-Yes, all religions, rituals, sects and cults prove it - I said - although none is more true than the others. But… yes… is it true that hell is near? - I asked suspiciously.

-No, I'm kidding - he smiled at me - there is no astral date or supernatural fact - he said moving his fingers.

-Yes… it's not Wallpurgis.

-What do you know about that? 

"Isn't that when witches make their covens?" - I guessed.

-Yes, also the barrier of this world and the world of spirits becomes very thin and some cross. 

I meditated for a moment, I knew that something like this happened at different times of the year and that the Wallpurgis was not the only one, many historical events have to do with seasons like this: Salem, Halloween, the American civil war, the advent of the Great Cthulhu.

-Yes ... Also in Samhain, on St. George's Day, the Day of the Dead. The world is a great drain of spirits - I said smiling, she did the same.

-What happened that time here is a bit similar to those events but in a different way. - He said serious a little.

-I hear you.

-Well ... But the questions at the end - I nodded - there are places where many sentimental charges accumulate ... so to speak, and with all those heavy energies hovering around, the environment becomes conducive to things that should not enter the plane of reality as we know it do it ... we know that there are spirits, demons as your people call them, poltergeist ... the truth is that there is variety, some more powerful than others. 

I opened my mouth not with one question in mind but with thousands but he raised his hand and stopped me.   
-What did I tell you

-I thought you were done - I mumbled under my breath - I'm sorry. 

-Okay - he continued - what came here ... came for you - my gesture must have been a poem - calm down! Let me explain, in this house you are the weakest in soul, not in mind, but things like that. they seek are fragile souls to torment, not minds. Fortunately I was here.

-But ... - I understood what he was saying but why - why am I weak of soul? 

-Honey, your soul is so charged with negative feelings that you force it too much ... imagine a house of cards, the bigger and heavier the cards that are stacked on it, the more unstable the castle becomes. Positive feelings are great but light because they bring peace and happiness, negative feelings are great and heavy because they bring pain and suffering, people are more vulnerable to abuse than to caresses, human beings are like that, they see more the bad than the well, to put it that way ... certain unnatural entities persecute that type of person, the most tormented ...

-Oh, I understand. Forgive me - I was aware of my state, I was very sorry.

-Why would I have to forgive you? - Asked surprised.

-Because because of me you almost died that time. 

I remembered everything, she had protected me from very ugly things and I had not even thanked her, she had risked for me and I was still the same as always, fearful and cowardly, definitely left much to be desired. 

-It wasn't that, I ... I ... I just protected you and would do it again. 

-But it's your life! ... - I said feeling my eyes fill with tears - don't ever do it again. 

-And if I want to do what? - She stood in front of me making me see her - As you say, it's my life ... If I decide ... to do it, I will.

He was silent, his eyes reflected a mixture of feelings that I could not define clearly, I seemed to see fear and at the same time affection, pain and another that I did not know how to recognize, it was strange and perhaps too early for either of us to feel it , I was there, in the depth of his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Weak Raven Child
> 
> Thanks For Reading <3


	9. Chapter IX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Weak Raven Child

She continued with her gaze fixed on my eyes, it burned in a way as strange as it was wonderful, it pierced my pupils and wounded my soul.

-Please ... say what you have to say - he lowered his face - what you hide so deep inside of you ... what torments you so much ... tell me.

-How? - why was he asking for that.

-Everything you feel ... I know it's a lot of pain, just let it ... let it go ... that makes you feel like this, weak, in pain physically and spiritually. Let it go.

-I can't ... I can't - I had never before, never even tried.

-What are you waiting for? ... a beating, an illness, a letter that you will never write ... what do you expect ... be brave - his head was still down.

She knew very well what she was asking for, she was aware of it, it was really difficult for me to speak with my feelings, I always wrote them down, I had never opened my heart to anyone before, absolutely no one and she already had more than she wanted to give her ... but… maybe she had to abandon all that, maybe she would have to do it for the first time, as she said she must be brave, even if it was only for that moment.

As a prelude I was silent, I was silent for an eternity, the eternity that I wanted to be suspended forever. 

-I feel so dirty, so removed from this world, I feel like I'm bleeding without someone being able to stop my bleeding. I feel that this world, my family, Lex, have shaped me, they have made me so much that what was originally left of me is lost in the dirt that covers me, that my love is lost without anyone to rescue it, that the sighs hurt too much, that the beats of my heart crowd in my ears screaming the loneliness that devours me, that I drink my blood as if it were wine, that I get drunk on what used to be my desires, my hopes and my dreams.

When I was done, I ended up sharing things that I never thought I would do. As I spoke I felt my body shudder and tremble, I felt being pulled, something was being pulled inside of me, I felt tense and dying.

Then it was only silence, a silence in my soul. 

Kara put her hand on my mouth, she still didn't look up, I felt her sob, she was crying. With his other hand he covered my eyes, I felt his cold touch on my eyelids, my tears flowed down my face, I felt them fall on my legs. I could hear Kara's labored breathing, held, we both cried in silence, in a heartbreaking silence.  
Slowly she removed her hand from my mouth, passed it over my chin and placed it on my neck, still with her other hand she was still covering my eyes. I felt her move in front of me. I felt his breath, his cozy breathing still heavy. It was an absolutely new sensation, something extremely different and warm, I felt it settle on my lips, I felt it kiss me.

It was a touch, just a wet touch from our tears, but something very tender and soft, unlike his hands, his lips were warm, they were beautiful. 

Kara broke away and took her hand from my eyes, when I looked at her, she didn't look at me, she only saw a not very interesting painting that hung on one of the walls of my room, she didn't speak, did nothing, hardly even breathed, and her hands dropped. in his lap they were shaking a little.

I took one from her, she still didn't look at me, I caressed her hand between mine, I made a sandwich with it, I ran it over with my fingers. 

-Kara? ... - I asked nervously - Kara?

-Lena ... - now if he looked at me with his penetrating eyes - no ... no ... say anything, please.

-But…

-Forget what happened.

I was in shock. What crazy things was he saying?

-How do you expect me to forget what happened, if it was my first kiss - I said with a sadness that I was surprised to hear.

-Excuse that. Besides, you think I'm a dream, it doesn't make sense if your first kiss is in a dream, isn't it? - He said with bitterness in his voice.

-I do not know what to believe! I don't know what to believe anymore ... you've upset my entire belief system, you've upset everything ...

-I'm sorry…

-Ah! Now do you feel it? And what is that you feel?

He frowned, in anger, in confusion, how beautiful she was, how beautiful she is. A sky so far away, a sky as dark as it is resplendent, a black blue so high above me, something that she lets me touch with her hands, just a touch of hers is the privilege of all creation.

-Why do you ask that? - He started to say - I ...

I did not let her finish, I quickly approached her and my lips sought hers, I kissed her, she was the first woman in all possible reality to kiss, even if it was a dream I wanted to enjoy that moment, keep it deeply in my memory. 

At first he was immobile but later he kissed me back, it was my return. She felt our lips speak and ask permission to continue, take unknown routes and enter, her tongue tempted my mouth, I opened it for her and let her go through everything in her path.

The kiss spread and for a moment I thought that we would die suffocated in each other, I had attracted her with my arms around her neck and she was holding my waist just above my panties, her hands were touching my skin and that caused reactions in my body. The past wounds had been healing and it no longer hurt, its touch that produced in me was an indescribable sensation.

I wanted more, wanted to feel her closer, needed it, but Kara pulled away from me, pulled away, and pulled away. 

-Kara? - I asked a scared and confused - What's wrong? I did it wrong? You do not like me?

-It's not that ... it's that ... I don't know, I feel like I'm taking advantage of you.

-Oh my God! Why do you say that? Of course not.

-Are you serious? - He asked me with uncertainty in his eyes, he was killing me.

-Of course! I ... - I wanted to tell him to continue, that I liked him, that I loved him but I was a bit ashamed - I ... I don't want you to walk away.

-I would never do that - she got up on her knees and approached me who was still sitting on the bed, she was higher - I will never abandon you. 

He took my face in his hands and only looked at my eyes for a long time, his gaze felt too good, as if he was kissing me with it. I did not want to think if what I was living was a dream or reality, although my heart desired the second option. I wanted him to stay on my skin, for my life to be a dream and that moment a reality.

We were laying little by little on the bed until we were embraced, she kept looking at me with the most strangely beautiful eyes that someone could observe, sometimes she gave me some tender kisses, she was tender. 

-You are beautiful - I said without shame or shame because it was true. 

"You make me blush," he answered in a funny tone. 

-It's true.

-You are also very pretty.

-No way! - I did not consider myself pretty, she knew it - nonsense.

-Of course! The fool is you.

-mmm.

He looked at me with a "say something else and I'll kill you" face. The truth is that if I had been really pretty, some girl would have had her eye on me for a long time, but no and I was not one of those who took the first steps when I liked someone. We were silent, sometimes we smiled, we gestured with our eyebrows, we kissed each other, it was a sign language that we enjoyed.

"Lena is already late," Kara said, sitting up a little.

-What time is it? 

-It's two in the morning, you have to sleep, tomorrow will be Monday and you have to study.   
-If it's true - I made an angry gesture. 

-Don't make that face, to sleep. 

-Yes, but stay until I fall asleep. 

"You know I won't leave sooner," he said with a cynical face. 

-Then lie with me. 

He sighed and lay down next to me, hugging me around the waist. It was magical to sleep like this, this time I understood it better, I understood the dimensions of everything that was happening, I felt complete, for the first time in a long time I felt complete. Maybe God / Karma had taken pity on me and even if it was only in dreams he sent me a beautiful woman, one to keep me company and why not, maybe she would come to love me and I would love her.

Between her breathing and my thoughts I fell asleep, I think I had a dream within another dream because I still remember her within the next dream, I remember her kissing me, caressing me, saying so many beautiful things, beautiful things like her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Weak Raven Child <3


	10. Chapter X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Weak Raven Child

That week passed as fast as possible, between my studies and my house, between the reproaches and scolding of my parents, between the kisses and caresses of my nocturnal girlfriend, everything flew like the wind.

Kara and I had become closer (if that was possible), I loved more and more his eyes, his smile, his eventual scolding, his hands that bristled my skin, his words, his conversations with me, his lips and his tongue when he entered. in my mouth, all of her was loved by my soul and heart.

At night I only waited for sleep to be able to be with her, although I did not know if she was really sleeping because it was like waking up from a lethargy or a transept and then meeting her, there everything became so vivid, so real, that my questioning about what it was and what it wasn't caught me off guard and I couldn't help but draw certain conclusions. 

-Do you still think this is a dream? - She asked me one night, I was lying on the bed while she watched me from her position on the wall.

-The truth is that I already believe no, that you are not ... - I said in a whisper - I would like everything to be real but if I go to you as if everything were true and nothing more happens? everything is real and you don't come anymore?

-Honey, I'm not going to give you an answer, you have to find it. But let me assure you something, I will never leave you even if one day you don't see me again ... I will be forever, and don't be too sure that I'm not around.

That was how she was, enigmatic like the paintings by Edvar Munch or Dalí, there were many things that I did not understand but what I did feel and knew was that she really loved me. 

Although it had only been almost a month since he had first seen her, it seemed like he had known her forever, that she was a memory as old as a birthmark.   
-I'm going to dedicate a song to you - I told him one night when I felt very sorry for his presence. 

-Oh! Let's see… of ¿rock ?, ¿classic? ... a ¿ballad? Or ... Pop? - He said with a grimace.

-If you are ... even if it doesn't seem like it, they have very beautiful lyrics and beautiful melodies

-Okay, okay ... sing to me! 

-Singing? - Oh God, I was not thinking but rather to listen to it with me or something like that.

-Yes of course! Don't tell me that you don't know how to sing because I know you can.

-What if my parents wake up? 

"They won't believe me," he gave me a most precious smile. 

-Well ... put one hearing aid on and I put the other one on so I don't get lost. 

He did it and I looked for the song for that moment, there were many that I wanted to dedicate to him but if he put them all at that moment the sun would surprise us. I prepared myself more mentally than physically, I firmly believe that the dedication of a song is like saying I accept at the altar.

I played There Is A Light That Never Goes Out by The Smiths. One of my favorite songs.

When I said "Take me out tonight" I saw in his eyes so much brightness that a light was lit inside me, his blond hair fell on his forehead and my hand, as if acquiring its own will, it separated them, caressed his cheeks. "To die by your side, Is such a heavenly way to die" and I knew it was true. If I died there was no better way than to do it with her, the joy of doing it was mine and hers.

-It's very pretty my love! - He said taking my face and planting a short kiss afterwards.

-It's good that you liked it ... I also like it a lot. 

-Which singer is he?

-It's one of my favorite bands, they are called The Smiths.

-Mmmm… you have many favorite singers.

-Yes ... but my favorite is Floor Jansen, she's beautiful ... - I made a gesture with my eyebrows that she didn't ignore, giving me a push on the shoulder.

-I see ... you like big women.

-It's not that ... it's beautiful ... but no one compares to you.

-You better. 

We kissed for a long time, our lips played, they spoke on their own, they loved each other, his tongue entered delicately, he attacked mine with parsimony and care, it was like a tribal dance or an indigenous song to the moon. 

He wanted more of her, more of her body, more of her skin. 

I tried to stick her closer to me, grabbed her around the waist to pull her up over my pelvis. I put my hands under his shirt and felt his smooth and delicate skin, that action moved me so much that my whole being trembled.

"Wait, wait honey" Kara had separated from me. 

-What happens? - His reaction had taken me by surprise.

-Wait a minute...

-You do not want to be with me? - I was panicked, terrified that he would say yes.

-No, no, no, no ... not that ... it's just ... I'm preparing something, it's a surprise.

-A surprise?

-Yes, to do it well, I know you are excited and I want it to be special.

His words excited me, yes, I wanted it to be special and very romantic, I reproached myself for being so hasty. 

-And when would you give me that surprise? 

-Let's see ... today is Friday ... on Sunday, I know that the following Monday you won't have classes so we'll take advantage of the night.

-Okay… I'll look forward to it.

-Yes?

-Yes. 

The rest of the week the only thing I had in mind was what was going to happen that Sunday, there was no room for emotion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Weak Raven Child
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


	11. Chapter XI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Weak Raven Child

Sunday came and I had an anxiety rarely seen in me, in the morning, noon and afternoon it seemed that I was dead and that only the resurrection would come at night. I did things mechanically, without measuring, seeing or feeling, all my senses were asleep under my skin in constant agitation waiting for the darkness.

When it was seven o'clock at night I washed completely, shaved some parts, in the bikini area I always leave a reminiscence of hairs, it is for safety and health the gynecologist once told me and I think it is true because when I completely waxed the Burning, discomfort and sometimes itching did not leave me alone, so I decide to lower them enough so that I can feel another contact but I do not eliminate them.  
I put on perfume, moisturizing cream, body lotion, in short, I almost did not bathe in milk and make myself incense with myrrh and essential oils. 

I had a light dinner, watched a little television (although without concentrating in the slightest) and when the clock struck nine at night I went to sleep, it was quite difficult to concentrate to sleep and I think I did not get to do it, my thoughts flew , they turned on themselves, they got lost and they came back, after a while in which I got a little dizzy I felt like my mattress was sinking, I uncovered and there she was.  
Her long, blonde curly hair seemed to shine with its own light, she was wearing tight blue pants made of a material similar to lycra, but it was not that. Her white T-shirt had been replaced by a blue one of the same tone as the pants and a red jacket on top, she looked extremely beautiful, she looked like a superhero.

His lips were with a crimson tint, how desirable they looked! His eyes with their usual shine looked at me, although this time there was something else in his gaze ...

I approached and stole a kiss, I was in my most beautiful pajamas (T-shirt and pants) and underneath there was really elegant and sexy underwear, I don't know what had led me to buy that lace set but at that moment I thanked the cosmos having it. 

-You smell good darling - he said with a smile.

-You too.

He got up, he didn't know what he was doing, I thought ... 

-Come on, put on some shoes that you can walk outside with… and find a coat.

-What?

-It's a surprise… let's go outside.

Wow, I didn't expect that, I had never left my house in the middle of the night, unless I came from somewhere, but going out at night ... I was a little scared. 

-Are you sure? What if my parents wake up and I'm gone?

-Quiet, nothing bad will happen to you and they will not wake up. I have it all planned.

-Well OK.

I looked for some comfortable sports shoes and my jacket. It wasn't too cold that night and Kara conveyed a warmth that I knew how to identify. He took me by the hand and in silence we left my room, went down the stairs, through the dining room, the living room, the hall and reached the door and with surprising mastery Kara opened the door with my key without making the slightest noise. No click of the lock, nothing on the hinges of the door, it seemed that something made it soundless (because truly that door was a scandal).

We went out to the patio that led to my house, I had said before that it was a house surrounded by trees, well ... They were not only trees, they were fields, hills covered with herbs, streams and others. The Luthor mansion was in a mountainous area outside the National City, the closest neighbor was two kilometers away, so in the middle of the night the only thing that gave light was the outdoor lanterns of my house, the rest was an impenetrable darkness wherever it was seen.

Kara hadn't let go of my hand so far, and when we reached the end of the beam of light from one of the streetlights illuminating the vicinity of the house, she squeezed me tighter.

-Let's go to a place near here, step where I step - he said as he continued advancing. 

-But I don't see anything.

-Ah, here. 

He handed me a jar of jam covered with a small handkerchief, I never knew where he had got it from because he had nothing in his hands that I have seen before, I took it with some surprise and discovered it, inside there was a small stone, more Well it looked like a blue crystal that shone, how beautiful it was! His light was dim but it was enough to illuminate Kara and me so I could make out his footsteps well.

-What is it? - I asked looking at the small stone.  
-It's a crystal of light. 

-Oh, sure! It was the most obvious right? - of course - I said with a bit of irony - and ... how does it work?

-I'll tell you later ... we are already arriving.

We walked through an area that I knew like the back of my hand, when I was little I was alone for a long time and the areas around my house were my exploration field, I played a lot in those places, sometimes I got lost but I always knew how to get back. At eleven o'clock at night, everything seemed very different, although it kept the same environmental configuration, the light from the glass gave it a fairy-like appearance, like from another world. Everything seemed to be watching and was silent when hearing the sound of our footsteps.

Although I felt strange and with a crazy desire to know where it was all going, I was not afraid. Kara gave me the security, the peace, the tranquility to know that nothing bad would happen to me if she was with me.

We crossed the barrier that some trees made, I had never ventured to go beyond that point, I did not know what could be on the other side. It was a kind of wall that enclosed the slopes of the hills that rose at the end of the little plain that we had crossed. She just went through a hole made by two branches and I followed her.  
On the other side was a kind of tiny grove, the trees looked like newly grown ash trees and the grass on the ground was soft. The moon was shining overhead and the light from the crystal melted with hers, there was no longer need to squint to see, the clarity was astonishing, she had never seen the night like this. In the small forest, everything was strangely arranged at random, even the stones and fallen branches seemed to rest, everything seemed to breathe, to be alive and in harmony with its surroundings. I felt it that way, and reader, don't ask me how, but it was.

I could hear light murmurs around me, whispers and sighs of something or someone but I could not see anything at all apart from what is normal in a forest. 

-Here it is - Kara said releasing my hand, I looked at her anxiously, I felt strange. My hand had gone with hers and the one I had was an automaton copy.

-It is ... it is very quiet - I said without knowing very well what I was trying to do - I had not seen a night like this ...

-Do not. Because this place is special.

She was looking around, I was just looking at her.  
-I believe it - I replied - but why? 

-It is a place where there is nothing that does not belong, nothing that has been modified in the natural order, these things that you see have been here millions of years. It is a place that I have decided to keep secret until today.

-Does this site belong to you? - asked. We were still on the grounds of my house and I had never seen or heard of that place.

-You can say yes ... but I didn't buy it or anything, they gave it to me.

-Who? 

-Have they told you that you ask a lot? - She looked at me with a fake grimace of anger.

-If some.

-Come.

He took me by the hand again and led me to a rock wall on the left side of the forest that I hadn't seen. It was like a wall covered by vines, something like a kind of curtain, like those seen in the legends of princesses in the forest.  
Kara shoved her hands under those plants and groped for a while.

-Do you have to say "friend"? - I asked amused.

-No ... that's later, in a lake to the north - she answered totally serious.

We both laughed, his laughter filled that forest as it did in my room, it went up and covered like a vault, everything seemed to react to his voice, the whole forest moved with amusement, then the trees sighed. It was all very unreal, it was a magical grove, the enchanted forest of stories.

-That's it - said Kara - this way. 

He lifted part of the vegetal curtain with his hand, revealing a small crack through which a body barely passed horizontally.

-Go. Come in like this - she tilted his body and entered through the crack - come on - he yelled at me from inside.

I tilted my body, first introduced a leg and then an arm, I was grateful that I had not had much bust, otherwise it would not have happened. I completely finished going through that crack and saw where I had entered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> I apologize because I am sure that the work has translation errors. Wherever say he is she. English is not my mother lenguage, and I was helped by a translator, sorry.
> 
> A Weak Raven Child

**Author's Note:**

> A Weak Raven Child.


End file.
